True Love vs. Self Love

But why shouldn't one live "in oneself"? Isn't that what the self is supposed to do? Not really. It's just what the self likes to do. The self will lose itself if it simply lives in and for itself. It will seek only its own benefits, and the more it seeks its own benefits, the less satisfied it will become. That's the paradox of self-love: The more you fill the self, the more it echoes with the emptiness of unfulfillment. Living in itself and for itself, the self remains mysteriously unsatisfied and insatiable. Since God creates the self to be indwelled by Christ, that self will be fulfilled only if it draws the living water from the well-spring of love's infinity and passes it on to its neighbors. The paradox of true love is exactly the opposite of the paradox of self-love: When loving truly, the self moves outside of itself to dwell with God and neighbor, and only then is it truly at home. When this happens, we have crossed over from self-centeredness to genuine and fulfilling generosity.

--Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005), 52.

God's Love Propels Holiness; My Pursuit of Holiness Does Not Propel God's Love

When rightly understood, God's love will propel you toward holiness and growth in grace. The order is essential: I am a new creation, accepted, adopted, and free; therefore I want to please God. We do not say: I will try to please God so that I may become a new creation, make myself acceptable, and hope that God adopts me and sets me free.

--Timothy S. Lane & Paul David Tripp, How People Change (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2006), 163-164.

Overwhelmed by God's Love

Disciples who are transformed are still overwhelmed with the truth of God's love; they are continually in awe that Jesus loves them. Transformation is stalled when we grow calloused to His love by moving out of a vulnerable posture and into a position of self-dependence.

--Eric Geiger, Michael Kelley, and Philip Nation, Transformational Discipleship: How People Really Grow (Nashville: B&H, 2012), 220.

Love is the Defining Characteristic of Discipleship

That's actually why love is the defining characteristic of discipleship--because love--true love--can only come from a true, vibrant, and constant experience of the gospel. The gospel is what love is--that's the true measure of love. Those who truly love demonstrate that they have been loved and are growing in their understanding of the great love of God in Christ.

--Eric Geiger, Michael Kelley, and Philip Nation, Transformational Discipleship: How People Really Grow (Nashville: B&H, 2012), 209.

Playing Disciple

We can become adept at "playing disciple" by our sheer acts of the will. We can even force ourselves into positions of service and postures of generosity. But love? Real genuine love? That's something you can't manufacture.

--Eric Geiger, Michael Kelley, and Philip Nation, Transformational Discipleship: How People Really Grow (Nashville: B&H, 2012), 208.

Loving God is the Ground for Loving Your Neighbor

There is an order of importance here: love for God is foundational to everything else. If you do not love God above all else, you will not love your neighbor as yourself. Any lack of love for neighbor, in word or deed, reflects some deficiency in your love for God (see 1 John 4:7-21).

--Paul David Tripp, War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles (Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R, 2000), 62.

God's Holy Love

The love of God, therefore, is the kind of love that belongs to the Spirit of truth. It is the kind of love that consumes the unrighteous in judgment. It is a holy love, shining without any darkness. The love that lies at the core of God's being is the kind of love you don't want to take for granted or to trifle with. While it is a beautiful and wondrous love, it is also perfect love which delights in righteousness and justice. We would not know this love and its character except that God reveals His love to us.

--Thabiti Anyabwile, The Life of God in the Soul of the Church: The Root and Fruit of Spiritual Fellowship (Ross-shire, Scotland: Christian Focus Publications, 2012), 62.

Love: The Evidence of Eternal Life

John is not saying [in 1 John 3:14a], 'If you go out and love other people, be a good person, generally pleasant and agreeable but not noticeably different, then you'll make it into heaven by your love.' He is not saying that loving others earns eternal life. John is saying the opposite. He means that the badge, the seal, and the proof that we have this life of God in our souls is that it works itself out in love for other Christians. We know--with confidence, assurance, and certainty--that we have passed from death to life because of our love for one another. He is saying that loving fellow Christians is evidence that new spiritual life has already come.

--Thabiti Anyabwile, The Life of God in the Soul of the Church: The Root and Fruit of Spiritual Fellowship (Ross-shire, Scotland: Christian Focus Publications, 2012), 59.

Biblical Love

Speaking biblically "love" is not merely an emotion, a pleasant disposition toward another person, but covenant commitment demonstrated in actions that seek the interest of the next person.

--Daniel I. Block, Deuteronomy (NIV Application Commentary; Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2012), 189.

Love in Deuteronomy

[I]n Deuteronomy "love" denotes "covenant commitment demonstrated in actions that serve the interests of the other person." This statement is revolutionary, since the notion of love is virtually absent from the vocabulary of divine-human relationships in the ancient orient.

--Daniel I. Block, Deuteronomy (NIV Application Commentary; Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2012), 144.

Submissive Love

Becoming what someone else needs me to be never ends. I went home that day and had more opportunities to shape myself around other people's interests: as husband, partner, father, homework tutor, friend, disciplinarian, sports coach, guide, flirtatious lover, animal trainer, maid, and repairman--in short, what different individuals needed me to be. I never stop being who I am, but what that looks like at any given moment depends both on who is in front of me and what that person needs. Submissive love does not come in a one-size-fits-all package.

--William P. Smith, Loving Well (Even If You Haven't Been) (Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2012), 189.